NOW I'VE BEEN DOING THIS MUSIC THING FOR A WHILE
NOW (20 YEARS....DAMN I'M GETTIN' OLD!) HERE ARE
SOME OF THE THINGS I DIDN'T LEARN AT BERKLEE!
HEY NEW HAMPSHIRE, REPEAL THAT RETARDED NO DRINKING ON STAGE LAW!!!!!
Always keep your car in good working order. All your Berklee honed jazz chops and custom built bass will
do you no good if you can't even get out of your own driveway. So if you blow the transmission on your 1981
Honda Civic hatchback (you know the one with the coat hanger for a radio antenna, a piece of pressure
treated lumber for the rear bumper, and the passenger door is from a '85 Ford Mustang) dammit just get it
fixed.
Actually, if you are a bass player and you drive any kind of hatchback, you got bigger problems than the
tranny.
UNLESS YOUR'E SCOTT IAN, NEVER WEAR SHORTS ON STAGE
IF YOU'RE A GUITAR PLAYER, CUT THOSE DAMN STRING ENDS....PLEASE!!!!!
IF YOU ARE A BOUNCER, COME UP WITH A NEW COY LITTLE PHRASE TO SCREAM IN THE
FACES OF THE PATRONS AT THE END OF THE NIGHT BESIDES "LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!"
NEVER YELL FREEBIRD AT A BAND. THEY WON'T PLAY IT. IN FACT, DON'T EVEN YELL IT
IF YOU GO SEE SKYNARD THEMSELVES. REST ASSURED, THEY WILL.
DON'T YELL SLAYER EITHER. THAT'S JUST GAY
I
n the words of Delbert McClinton, "Never leave your wallet in the dressing room."
· Always show up for a gig early. The last thing a bandleader needs or wants to worry about is the bass player.
· Get some kind of container to use as a road case. I use a heavy-duty plastic tote to carry all my cables,
pedals, stands, batteries, and the all-important roll of duct tape! Leave everything in the case too. It
reduces the chances that you will forget something.
-Don't bother buying beer at the bar, just get an insulated tote, (hint, a very famous string manufacturer
makes one that they will send to you for free if you send them your empty string packages) and smuggle it in!
· If you go see a show, do the band a favor. Don’t yell “ONE MORE!” at the end of the night. The joke is old
and overused. Especially when you have to hear it 37,000 times a week.
· When you change your strings, save the old ones. They can get you out of a pretty big jam if you break a
string in your first set.
- A clean bass is a happy bass. Polish it at string changes and oil the fingerboard with lemon oil every two
to three months. Don't forget to dig all the food crumbs out of the bridge too!
· Don’t ignore your backup bass! Basses go through moods, just like people. So if your main bass starts to
give you problems, your backup needs to perform like you have been playing it right along.
· Always check your attitude at the door. The other guys in the band don’t need to hear about fights with
your girlfriend, the aforementioned car breakdown, or if your dishwasher is on the fritz.
· If the band is having a bad night, don’t wear it on your sleeve, or on your face. Chances are, the audience
is still having a great time. They will only know there is a problem if you advertise it. Work out the problems
at rehearsal, That's what it's for.
· Only bring the equipment that is appropriate for the gig. I once did a gig at a restaurant when we played
IN A BOOTH. I felt like I was riding in a clown car. I’m just glad we didn’t have a B3 organ player.
Remember, not every gig will be at Madison Square Garden.
· Invest in a good hand truck. This will save lots of time as well as your back. When I lived in Boston,
weather permitting I would just truck my stuff all ‘round town. Saved me a ton in taxi fares!
- Personally , I suck at math, so I hired a good accountant so I don't get boned at tax time.
NOW (20 YEARS....DAMN I'M GETTIN' OLD!) HERE ARE
SOME OF THE THINGS I DIDN'T LEARN AT BERKLEE!
HEY NEW HAMPSHIRE, REPEAL THAT RETARDED NO DRINKING ON STAGE LAW!!!!!
Always keep your car in good working order. All your Berklee honed jazz chops and custom built bass will
do you no good if you can't even get out of your own driveway. So if you blow the transmission on your 1981
Honda Civic hatchback (you know the one with the coat hanger for a radio antenna, a piece of pressure
treated lumber for the rear bumper, and the passenger door is from a '85 Ford Mustang) dammit just get it
fixed.
Actually, if you are a bass player and you drive any kind of hatchback, you got bigger problems than the
tranny.
UNLESS YOUR'E SCOTT IAN, NEVER WEAR SHORTS ON STAGE
IF YOU'RE A GUITAR PLAYER, CUT THOSE DAMN STRING ENDS....PLEASE!!!!!
IF YOU ARE A BOUNCER, COME UP WITH A NEW COY LITTLE PHRASE TO SCREAM IN THE
FACES OF THE PATRONS AT THE END OF THE NIGHT BESIDES "LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!"
NEVER YELL FREEBIRD AT A BAND. THEY WON'T PLAY IT. IN FACT, DON'T EVEN YELL IT
IF YOU GO SEE SKYNARD THEMSELVES. REST ASSURED, THEY WILL.
DON'T YELL SLAYER EITHER. THAT'S JUST GAY
I
n the words of Delbert McClinton, "Never leave your wallet in the dressing room."
· Always show up for a gig early. The last thing a bandleader needs or wants to worry about is the bass player.
· Get some kind of container to use as a road case. I use a heavy-duty plastic tote to carry all my cables,
pedals, stands, batteries, and the all-important roll of duct tape! Leave everything in the case too. It
reduces the chances that you will forget something.
-Don't bother buying beer at the bar, just get an insulated tote, (hint, a very famous string manufacturer
makes one that they will send to you for free if you send them your empty string packages) and smuggle it in!
· If you go see a show, do the band a favor. Don’t yell “ONE MORE!” at the end of the night. The joke is old
and overused. Especially when you have to hear it 37,000 times a week.
· When you change your strings, save the old ones. They can get you out of a pretty big jam if you break a
string in your first set.
- A clean bass is a happy bass. Polish it at string changes and oil the fingerboard with lemon oil every two
to three months. Don't forget to dig all the food crumbs out of the bridge too!
· Don’t ignore your backup bass! Basses go through moods, just like people. So if your main bass starts to
give you problems, your backup needs to perform like you have been playing it right along.
· Always check your attitude at the door. The other guys in the band don’t need to hear about fights with
your girlfriend, the aforementioned car breakdown, or if your dishwasher is on the fritz.
· If the band is having a bad night, don’t wear it on your sleeve, or on your face. Chances are, the audience
is still having a great time. They will only know there is a problem if you advertise it. Work out the problems
at rehearsal, That's what it's for.
· Only bring the equipment that is appropriate for the gig. I once did a gig at a restaurant when we played
IN A BOOTH. I felt like I was riding in a clown car. I’m just glad we didn’t have a B3 organ player.
Remember, not every gig will be at Madison Square Garden.
· Invest in a good hand truck. This will save lots of time as well as your back. When I lived in Boston,
weather permitting I would just truck my stuff all ‘round town. Saved me a ton in taxi fares!
- Personally , I suck at math, so I hired a good accountant so I don't get boned at tax time.